Film Review #176: Living & Remembering
Love is… Resilient:
An Interview with Agnes Goh, Writer of
Living & Remembering
Late last year, Singapore-based Youtube channel, Our Grandfather Story (OGS), ran an open call for pitches from young Singaporean filmmakers for their upcoming “Love Is…” original film series. For Agnes Goh, the result of 3 days of shoot and an 8-month gestation period is a 20-minute short film based on her personal story of love and grief after losing her dad - Living & Remembering. In our conversation, Agnes discusses her inspirations behind the film, filmmaking as a way of processing grief, and the challenges she faced in her filmmaking debut.
CL: You dedicate this film to your late father and as a tribute to all fathers. Was there anything about your relationship with him, in particular, that inspired the script for Living & Remembering?
AG: I am haunted by the things that I did not get to do with my dad when he was alive. I think we often procrastinate when it comes to things we might want to do with our families with the coordinating of different schedules. In my case, there was this Royal Caribbean cruise that my dad was interested in going to that we had been talking about for close to two years. When we finally booked the tickets in December 2023 and were ready to set sail in March 2024, my dad’s cancer relapsed. And his condition just kept deteriorating after.
CL: Since your dad’s passing had been so recent, was this a hard story for you to tell?
AG: I was initially quite emotionally overwhelmed. A few of my friends actually lost their dads around the same time. They reached out to me and I started hearing about their stories with their dads as well. So this also reinforced the desire for me to tell a story about fathers in general. But when OGS had an open call last year about love, it felt like the universe was giving me a sign and an opportunity to finally tell my story and make it into a film. But I would have wanted to make this film happen regardless of the open call.
CL: Since your father was a taxi driver just like the character in the film, your work relies on some autobiographical elements, with other parts dramatised. While preparing for the film, did you get to rediscover things about your dad or your relationship with him?
AG: I was quite close to my dad and I’m lucky that I got to spend more time with him after he started driving night shifts. I have heard many of his stories - like how he had to learn English on his own and how much he struggled growing up. As I was preparing to shoot the film and wanted to rent a taxi, my godfather passed me the phone number of my dad’s taxi hirer. He was this uncle I had heard about from my dad but never met. He recounted memories he had of how my dad was one of the best drivers he has worked with. The car would always be returned with a full tank of petrol and my dad would pay more than the rental fees if he made more money on a good day.
The uncle also said that whenever my dad talked about me, he would light up.. And when I heard that, it broke me. I had been reflecting on the things I didn’t do well: Was I a good enough daughter? So this gave me consolation.
CL: It must have been tough but meaningful to revisit such memories. Would you say that Living & Remembering became a part of how you processed grief?
AG: It did help a bit with healing but the truth about grieving is that it can last a lifetime and people experience it differently. We will all lose our parents someday, and for me, I lost my dad early but it should be something we channel into positively when we live on. To have to deal with the grief of losing my dad shows that I have had the blessing of being loved by him. It’s bittersweet.
CL: Bittersweet is definitely an apt way to describe it.
How was it juggling your roles as a producer, writer and actress?
AG: I knew for sure, from the beginning, that I wanted a co-writer and a director who could offer me their perspectives. I didn’t want to overly self-indulge in my own story. It was a very collaborative relationship with Daniel Yam (the director) who really respected my story. He kept communication open and wanted to honour my story. My co-writer is quite poetic with his words so he helped me to tie up loose ends and patch things up after I had the main structure down. My co-producers helped me to settle all issues on set so I could focus on acting. They were fully onboard and I am so grateful for that. After we wrapped, I went back to post-production mode, from working with the editor to thinking about how best to promote the film.
CL: That sounds so demanding and stressful. It was a non-stop grind for you.
AG: Yes, prior to filming, I was leading the production and already wearing so many different hats. I lost so much hair. These eight months felt really long. I think it was also due to my lack of filmmaking experience so this was a warm-up for me to make more films. There are many other stories I would love to tell, beyond just an actor.
Agnes’
Living & Remembering is a relatable, modern family drama which pays tribute to the resilience among our fathers’ generation. Watch the film
here.
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About the author: Chloe recently graduated from the Chinese University of Hong Kong majoring in Chinese Studies. Unlike many other cinephiles, Chloe’s first cinemagoing experience initially left her traumatised at the age of 5; she never thought that she would grow to enjoy movies. She strongly believes that the best movies should be experienced alone.
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